Ivy is turning 26, so we're gonna celebrate like it's 2005 (that's when she actually turned 26, shhhh!).

Winter's over and that's means that it's time, once again, for me to ZipCar a pickup truck, roll up to the butcher shop and fill the truck bed with as many dead animal carcasses as possible. I'll grill Bambi and her friends over natural hardwood charcoal to... [read more]

Ivy is turning 26, so we're gonna celebrate like it's 2005 (that's when she actually turned 26, shhhh!).

Winter's over and that's means that it's time, once again, for me to ZipCar a pickup truck, roll up to the butcher shop and fill the truck bed with as many dead animal carcasses as possible. I'll grill Bambi and her friends over natural hardwood charcoal to a slightly warm temperature before we devour her and her little forest friends with our bare hands.

Your guests, significant others, tranny escorts, babies and puppies are welcome, but your cats and speaking-age children are not. However, please do RSVP so that I don't go way too overboard on the dead animal thing.

BYOB. As usual, I'll provide the food, you bring your own damn drinks. There's a recession on. Damn.

RSVP. Seriously.

Oh, and don't forget to bring a very expensive gift for Ivy.