We all see it in the stars: languages change constantly to accommodate the vicissitudes of our collective consciousness. The flexibility of language is one of its greatest strengths, mirroring the astounding adaptability of the human brain itself, an organ that evolved to pick berries and outrun mammoths and now allows us to build nuclear power plants, use chopsticks, drive cars, fly planes...
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[read more] We all see it in the stars: languages change constantly to accommodate the vicissitudes of our collective consciousness. The flexibility of language is one of its greatest strengths, mirroring the astounding adaptability of the human brain itself, an organ that evolved to pick berries and outrun mammoths and now allows us to build nuclear power plants, use chopsticks, drive cars, fly planes...
... and even to ride a bicycle.
Yet, when we fly somewhere we later speak of having "flown", and when drive somewhere, we speak of having "driven". Why, then, do we not say that we "boke" to the store, or speak of having "bikken" to train station?
We certainly ought to.
The evidence is there:
1) Drive - drove - driven
2) Ride - rode - ridden
3) Write - wrote - written
Not only does this demonstrate the consistency of the proposed "bike - boke - bikken" formulation with the rest of the English language, but the first two examples show its use within the context of basic forms of transportation.
And why did our forefathers (and foremothers) speak with these constructions?
Well, for one thing, ease of pronunciation. Consider the past-tense following sentence: "I bike to campus". Should it be the simple and eloquent "I boke to campus"? Or should we give into peer pressure, tow the party line, and go with "I biked to campus"?
Not only is this second choice aesthetically inferior, but it is also functionally inferior. One is forced to pronounce the consonant cluster [k t t] at the end of "biked to" -- a challenge that we respond to by simply omitting one of the "t"s. Say "I biked to campus" at a moderate to quick speed. Did you pronounce it any differently from "I bike to campus"?
I didn't think so.
The only reason that we don't speak of "yesterday, after I boke to campus" is that the bicycle is a relative latecomer to our society and to our language, and new verbs tend to take on the more standard past-tense suffix. But this is no excuse! The true power of language is in its adaptability, so we must seize the day and create the change that I wish to see in the world!
It is time for a revolution. Join us! You must bike forth and spread the message of hope. Once you have bikken the world over, then - and only then - can you lie back in your easy chair and say, "I came, I boke, I conquered".
