The Rite of Spring

Friends,

The other day I was walking through the park and I spotted a beautiful nymph bathing in Stow lake. I plucked a narcissus flower and offered it to her as a sign of goodwill, which she accepted. Coy but inviting she led me to a beautiful grove at 1042 Divisadero Street. There we drank and frolicked and consumed forbidden plants until we howled blasphemies at the moon. At midnight she left... [read more]

Friends,

The other day I was walking through the park and I spotted a beautiful nymph bathing in Stow lake. I plucked a narcissus flower and offered it to her as a sign of goodwill, which she accepted. Coy but inviting she led me to a beautiful grove at 1042 Divisadero Street. There we drank and frolicked and consumed forbidden plants until we howled blasphemies at the moon. At midnight she left me, but not without the promise of a true bacchanal festival scheduled for Friday, May 6th in the same sacred grove.

This festival is the annual Divisaheros celebration of the birth of Benvolio Fisher, demi-god of the letters, masks, and vomiting in chariots. It is with honor and twenty-five bags of Franzia that I invite you all to participate in the RITE OF SPRING. Please bring your most pagan and hedonistic self to this celebration of life and fermented grape drinks. Offerings of mead and distilled alcohols may be made to Ben at his altar. Benvolio himself will descend from his majestic perch atop Mount Theatrus at 10:30pm to accept these offerings and greet his followers.

Apologize for nothing!

-Dionysus

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