Quick, Jesus is coming, look busy!
Flyer:
http://i.imgur.com/jEdMr.jpg
You've probably heard of the May 21st rapture prediction. For those of you who haven't, clicky:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_end_times_prediction
Because the rapture is happening and the end of the world is imminent, I say let's all celebrate this once-in-a-lifetime event by just going balls out and breaking every sin in the good book.
After I spend the whole Saturday slothfully doing absolutely nothing, come join me at Liberty around 8pm where I will be practicing the art of gluttony by eating until I vomit. I'll also be drinking heavily, but I'll be greedily guarding my tabs and not buying shots for anyone. I'll have my arrogant, prideful personality in full effect!
Around 11pm we'll mosey down to St. Roch's Bar (the old Double Down Lounge) where I'll be envious of others' sobriety and will likely wrathfully beat or berate them.
Remember, after the rapture you can still gain eternal salvation and life through the power of an arbitrary number of hail marys or holy water or telepathic communication to a magic sky god or whatever, so don't worry!
* Free keg secured. Come early to drink before it floats. It's Lone Star.
* There will also be sex toys from Fleshlight. And limp, rubber penises.
* A complete list of sins: see how many you can break!
http://www.wogim.org/sinlist.htm