We're calling everyone,
We're putting out the welcome mat.
I've got the tunes, I've got the food,
We've got the party hats.
We've got everything we could ever need.
A real good time, Yeah!
Is guaranteed.

So jump up and put on your dancin' shoes,
With hosts like us there's no way you can lose.
It may get crazy when things starts to roll,
But never fear the... [read more]

We're calling everyone,
We're putting out the welcome mat.
I've got the tunes, I've got the food,
We've got the party hats.
We've got everything we could ever need.
A real good time, Yeah!
Is guaranteed.

So jump up and put on your dancin' shoes,
With hosts like us there's no way you can lose.
It may get crazy when things starts to roll,
But never fear the twins are in control.
(WE AREN'T EVEN TWINS!! ;) )


Growing up on an island, Melissa and Erica Tavss know a thing or two about survival. Struggling with feline predators, visual impairments and reaching for things for most of her life, Melissa has learned how to sustain a healthy, balanced lifestyle through lean shakes, 5 day juice cleanses, bee pollen supplements, time release adderall, diet coke, and vodka-based cocktails. Erica on the other hand, has taken a different route- she has learned to keep her cool through photoshopping, wearing salvation army, drinking foreign beers, smoking cigz, and being chill.

While Melissa paces the streets of the East Village wondering what her island life truly means means and what things are (Eyelashes and Hot guys) and are not (Carbohydrates and domesticated pets) essential for happiness, Erica tracks through the muds of the Hudson River Valley wondering why the hell anybody bothers to shower anymore! This high-profile socialite and cutting-edge hipster have come together to provide you with a wonderful night of fun and alchoholic poisoning. Melissa, Erica, Justin Bieber, John Stamos, Jan Brady, and everyone who has every made you feel not good enough, would like to invite you to join them in getting BACK TO BASICS.

For the first time in her unimaginably successful career as a human, Melissa has decided to share her birthday with her retarded little sister. While Melissa is turning the big 2.4., Erica is simply turning 21 (but we will give her a break!). This bash will be 100 percent organic, eco-friendly and paraben-free. Locally sourced, gluten-infused Bud Light and all-natural fried snacks will be served, alongside hemp swag bags filled with beads of Nick Panero’s sweat, old dream catchers, new Fire and Ice condoms (customized for the occasion), live hamsters and glitter solar panels.

We sure hope you like music, Cyburt, cause all the beats we be droppin will be womp-certified mashups oozing with soft-rock acoustics and Lupe-tastic lyrics. N-Hov has offered to bring his T-shirt gun and opportunities to treat Melissa and Erica to decadent lunches at Per Se or Le Bernadin will be provided. Did somebody say Bingo?!...we sure didn’t. Only games involving massive amounts of vegan whiskey will be permitted (color me drunk, jenga, and spin the bottle...obvi), We truly hope to see you there.

Please be sure to enter our sweepstakes on Twitter, please retweet "RT I only drink young coconut water when i'm really hungover #TAVSScleansebdayprincesses" for a chance to win the opportunity to never eat solid food again and party with the Tavssyy princesses themselves.

But seriously, unlimited bud lights, shots of Jameson, and vodka cocktails will be provided. And of course, for proper nourishment, we will be serving bottomless baskets of tots with truffle salt.