It's happening. I'm turning 26. I thought maybe I'd feel bummed to no longer be in my early 20s, but you know what? My early 20s fucking sucked and now I'm totally awesome so fuck that shit.
Anyway, I'm having a birthday party! It's at Tandem the night before my birthday so you better be there at midnight when it becomes my birthday.
I will be ipod DJing so expect...
[read more] It's happening. I'm turning 26. I thought maybe I'd feel bummed to no longer be in my early 20s, but you know what? My early 20s fucking sucked and now I'm totally awesome so fuck that shit.
Anyway, I'm having a birthday party! It's at Tandem the night before my birthday so you better be there at midnight when it becomes my birthday.
I will be ipod DJing so expect some punk and indie shit, but mostly expect Rihanna and T.I.
There will be a special on WHITE WINE SPRITZERS because Tandem loves me and wants to torture you by forcing you to drink what I drink.
I will be wearing some kind of slutty dress. That is a promise.
We will all do shots.
If you want to get me a present, let me remind you that Kyle Busch is my favorite NASCAR driver... just saying. Also, I could use some clothes that fit. JUST SAYING.
And yes, the night will be confusing but Nicolas Cage will solve the clues to why I was born, so just sit back and enjoy and come get your rose.
Oops, I just confused National Treasure with a Bachelorette reference, but you guys know how I am.
This will also double as Charles's birthday, so basically gonna be insane.
INTERMISSION
Hi guys. This is Charles. Welcome to Part 2 of the event invitation. I thought a double birthday would be better than two separate birthdays where so many friends overlap, so basically, here's what's going to happen.
I am going to ride a horse into Tandem at around 9-10pm, wearing Julius Caesar laurels and waving a golden scepter around, demanding the finest of white wine spritzers. Everyone in the entire bar will buy me a drink. I will then be carried into the Roman-style vomitorium to purge myself, and will then be placed on a reclining couch. Then we will discuss philosophy.
