I celebrate becoming the least romanticized age in an IHOP

Ladies and gentlemen,

My 18th through 21st birthday parties were a blast. You celebrated and reveled, and I was loved. I'm kinda tired of all that. This year I'm thinking I'm just gonna sad-eat myself into oblivion. To that end, I will be holding court at the East Village IHOP from noon until, well... until I've seen the bulk of you. That means drop in any time and watch me... [read more]

Ladies and gentlemen,

My 18th through 21st birthday parties were a blast. You celebrated and reveled, and I was loved. I'm kinda tired of all that. This year I'm thinking I'm just gonna sad-eat myself into oblivion. To that end, I will be holding court at the East Village IHOP from noon until, well... until I've seen the bulk of you. That means drop in any time and watch me eat absolutely disgusting amounts of delicious goodness. Alternatively, drop in and have a meal with me (preferably on you, of course)!!! If watching me get super fat and gross isn't reason enough, consider attendance your way of apologizing for letting me be such a shitty friend. Afterwards I'm sure there'll be a party of some sort, though I'll leave that up to better persons to plan. If someone wants to offer their house, that'd be awesome. If not, I'll probably just stumble to the nearest place with drinks and a large bathroom as I proceed to get horribly sick without a single drop of liquor in me.

IT'S GONNA BE A(NOTHER) BLAST!!!!!!!!!!

Only the best,
~Joe~

P.S. I will be accepting gifts in the form of cash or baked goods. If there happen to be drugs in those baked goods, well, cool. If not, well, I still love baked goods.

P.P.S. Please leave a time that would be good for you to visit. I will be making a list.

P.P.P.S. As always, if you weren't explicitly invited to this but still want to come, come. You know I would.

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