It's that time of year again, join us in your finest holiday apparel on Saturday Dec 10, 2011. For those of you new to the event, Santa Rampage is a non-profit, non-political, non-religious & non-sensical celebration of holiday... [read more]
It's that time of year again, join us in your finest holiday apparel on Saturday Dec 10, 2011. For those of you new to the event, Santa Rampage is a non-profit, non-political, non-religious & non-sensical celebration of holiday cheer, goodwill, and fun. There is no good reason to dress up in cheap Santa suits, run around town, give gifts, sing songs, have strangers sit on our laps, and decide who is naughty or nice -- but it's a lot of fun -- so Santa does it anyway. Everyone loves Santa and Santa loves everyone!
This year, the full route and times will be posted here starting on Friday night. This Austin Santa was very happy to take a turn coordinating and lining up the bars ahead of time, but come Saturday night, all of you Austin Santas will be “In-Charge.” That means, when the leaving hour strikes, it will be up to each and every Santa to yell out a very LOUD “Ho Ho Ho” so that all the Santas know it is time to Go Go Go. (Repetition is always good, See Rule #3).
For all those who don’t see the schedule ahead of time, Santa will be Tweeting his location (http://twitter.com/AustinSanta).
Last, Santa LOVES all the Guidelines out there, but has condensed them down into what this Austin Santa feels are the Most Important of the Guidelines.
Most Important of all the Guidelines:
1) Santa pays for his drinks as soon as he gets them and never forgets to tip the bar staff so they’ll want us back next year. Also, Santa prefers for everyone to pay in CASH because Santa doesn’t want anyone to get left behind while waiting to close their tab.
2) Santa dresses for all occasions. It's December, Smart Santas wear multiple costume layers and shoes they can walk in!
3) Santa listens for the Ho Ho Ho, to know when it’s time to Go Go Go! Santa also looks out for his fellow Santas to make sure that no Santas are left behind.
4) Santa makes sure that he eats and stays hydrated. Because watching Santa get drunk and rowdy is FUN. Babysitting Santa while he vomits in an alley is NOT. Don't be that Santa!
5) Santa does not make children cry. Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. (Feel free to abuse their parents though.)
6) Santa doesn't drink & drive and neither should you! Find a designated driver for the trip home. And not just any designated driver either, make sure to get a non-drinking one!!!
7) Memorize these answers to the following important questions:
- Who's in charge? "Santa"
- What organization are you with? "Santa"
- How did you get here? "A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer"
- Where are you going next? "I'm only allowed to tell you if you wear this hat and buy me a beer."
8) When in doubt, follow the 4 most basic rules:
1. Don’t Fuck With Kids
2. Don’t Fuck With Cops
3. Don’t Fuck With Security
4. Don’t Fuck With SANTA! (You may Fuck Santa though!)