It's Christmas, Chicken John...

BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!!... [read more]

BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!! BRING WRAPPED GIFTS!!!!!

BUT DON'T BUY ANYTHING, JUST BRING STUFF YOU HAVE LYING AROUND, WRAPPED UP. STUFF FROM WORK. A SANDWICH. A NUG OF DOPE. BEST GIFT WE EVER GOT WAS HALF A WAFFLE IRON. RE-GIFT CRAP YOU JUST GOT THAT YOU DON'T WANT. BUT FOR GOD SAKES, DO NOT ACTUALLY PURCHASE ANYTHING!!!!!!!!

Are you not going to get a gift this year? Are you far from your
relations or not speaking to them? Do you not have any family? Any friends? Are you cast adrift in a sea of emptiness and despair? Are you going to have your Christmas alone, drinking scotch looking
in the mirror? Are you not going to even get one wrapped present this
year?

Well then. That's terrible. Funny, but terrible. As amusing as it
might be that you are pathetic, you now experience an empty Christmas at your pleasure. There is another option. You can find other people who are in the same boat as you. And spend your Christmas with them. No, I'm not talking about casual encounters on Craigs' list... I'm
talking about:

IT'S CHRISTMAS, CHICKEN JOHN...

For the last 27 years, I've done an orphan Christmas show. It's kinda a game show, where people from the audience come up on stage and answer trivia questions. If you answer the question correctly, you get to open a present. However, if you answer the question incorrectly... you get to open a present. The presents are provided by you, the audience. They are something... some good, some terrible. All absurd. All for fun.

Join me and Dr. Hal Robins for some holiday fun. Starts at 9:00pm. Free admission. Ends when all the presents are gone.

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