"…and this is the living room. I'm sure you'll agree the view is impressive. All of the period psychedelic furniture, lighting, priceless record collection and vintage tube amplified sound system is included in the sale."
"Honey, this place is incredible! I can't believe nobody has snapped it up."
"Yeah, I wonder who this guy is?"
"…the...
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"…and this is the living room. I'm sure you'll agree the view is impressive. All of the period psychedelic furniture, lighting, priceless record collection and vintage tube amplified sound system is included in the sale."
"Honey, this place is incredible! I can't believe nobody has snapped it up."
"Yeah, I wonder who this guy is?"
"…the bathroom, or water pavilion, is quite large, as you can see, and the owner says he'll include the 120 gallon aquarium and all the exotic fish."
"How can they sell this for what they're asking? There's got to be a catch."
"…you're probably wondering, is there a catch?"
"Well, yeah, exactly."
"There is. You have to dance for the owner. He's watching you now through that camera there on the mantle from a remote location. If he likes the way you dance, you can have the apartment for the advertised price."
"That's a little creepy…"
"Honey, come on, who cares? OK, we'll do it! What's the music?"
"The music is…Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor Op. 18"
"Say what?"
"You don't know the selection?"
"Um, no, do you, honey?"
"Well, yeah, but you can't dance to Rachmaninoff!"
"Thank you for coming to see the apartment. Next, please."
Tom Jonesing, This Thursday, May 17 2012at Martuni's
4 Valencia st. @ Market San Francisco
6pm to 8:30pm
Free
www.tomjonesing.com
www.facebook.com/tomjonesing